Just need to vent a little
Since I'm almost positive that most of Ric's family doesn't visit our blog, I'm relatively safe in posting this here. Even if they do - I'm not worried about what I have to say. I know that Ric feels the same way, but won't say it. So here goes...this will probably be random and thrown together just so you know.
Just in case anyone forgot - holidays are designed to bring families together. Especially Thanksgiving! What is more important than being grateful for your family and showing them that you are grateful! In fact, can one day a year be TOO much to ask to spend time together? It's not even ONE full day! Just a couple of hours to eat and visit!
It's NOT an inconvenience to cook for just 2 more - we're going to have so many leftovers that it wouldn't matter anyway! The whole point is to GET TOGETHER AS A FAMILY!
On November 1st, we started making plans with Ric's family for Thanksgiving. We found out that Ric's cousin Scott and his family would be with his in-laws for dinner in the afternoon and would be visiting his mom later in the day. Not a big deal, we'd just do our own thing and visit later for dessert so we could see everyone. TWO DAYS AGO (AFTER I had gone shopping for everything to make our own dinner,) we got an email from Scott's mom saying that plans had changed and that dinner was now at 2:00 pm at her house. This is the way it ALWAYS is - I should be used to it, but it still frustrates the HECK (Yes, I said HECK!) out of me every time!
We are not changing our plans at this late date to accommodate them, which will mean that IF we go over to visit, we'll probably miss Scott, Christine and their kids since they'll be on the way to the in-laws. On another note, if we DID decide to go over at 2:00, first, it would be in the middle of naps, and we probably wouldn't be eating until 4:30 anyway because again, that's the way it ALWAYS is.
About 3 weeks ago, Ric also called his sister Stacey to see what plans she and her husband had for Thanksgiving. Since we knew that we wouldn't be at Aunt Jan's until later, we wanted to have them over. (Stacey doesn't cook.) The kids adore Stacey and have only seen/met Tom once or maybe twice at the most, so it would have been nice to see their Aunt and Uncle for a little while. We hadn't heard back from Stacey, so Ric emailed her a couple days ago, and this was her reply...
Actually, Tom and I made reservations because we hadn't heard from you. We thought you might have been invited to Jan's so we went ahead and made reservations before there weren't any tables left.
Ummm...last time I checked, phones and email do connect to Warwick from Pawtucket! And what's this about "because we hadn't heard from you crap?" Whatever...
It makes me so sad that Ric's family just fell apart when his Mom died almost 4 years ago. No one wants to get together anymore unless they are practically forced to do so. We're the ones that have to initiate and plan everything. It's exhausting and frankly, makes us feel as if they really don't want to see us, spend time with the kids, etc. If that's the case, then just tell us!
Please don't take it (or us) for granted that we are going to be in Rhode Island forever. There may come a time when we'll just be gone, and it will be too late.
OK...I'm done. I've said what I needed to say. Now it's time to make the pie. :)
Just in case anyone forgot - holidays are designed to bring families together. Especially Thanksgiving! What is more important than being grateful for your family and showing them that you are grateful! In fact, can one day a year be TOO much to ask to spend time together? It's not even ONE full day! Just a couple of hours to eat and visit!
It's NOT an inconvenience to cook for just 2 more - we're going to have so many leftovers that it wouldn't matter anyway! The whole point is to GET TOGETHER AS A FAMILY!
On November 1st, we started making plans with Ric's family for Thanksgiving. We found out that Ric's cousin Scott and his family would be with his in-laws for dinner in the afternoon and would be visiting his mom later in the day. Not a big deal, we'd just do our own thing and visit later for dessert so we could see everyone. TWO DAYS AGO (AFTER I had gone shopping for everything to make our own dinner,) we got an email from Scott's mom saying that plans had changed and that dinner was now at 2:00 pm at her house. This is the way it ALWAYS is - I should be used to it, but it still frustrates the HECK (Yes, I said HECK!) out of me every time!
We are not changing our plans at this late date to accommodate them, which will mean that IF we go over to visit, we'll probably miss Scott, Christine and their kids since they'll be on the way to the in-laws. On another note, if we DID decide to go over at 2:00, first, it would be in the middle of naps, and we probably wouldn't be eating until 4:30 anyway because again, that's the way it ALWAYS is.
About 3 weeks ago, Ric also called his sister Stacey to see what plans she and her husband had for Thanksgiving. Since we knew that we wouldn't be at Aunt Jan's until later, we wanted to have them over. (Stacey doesn't cook.) The kids adore Stacey and have only seen/met Tom once or maybe twice at the most, so it would have been nice to see their Aunt and Uncle for a little while. We hadn't heard back from Stacey, so Ric emailed her a couple days ago, and this was her reply...
Actually, Tom and I made reservations because we hadn't heard from you. We thought you might have been invited to Jan's so we went ahead and made reservations before there weren't any tables left.
Ummm...last time I checked, phones and email do connect to Warwick from Pawtucket! And what's this about "because we hadn't heard from you crap?" Whatever...
It makes me so sad that Ric's family just fell apart when his Mom died almost 4 years ago. No one wants to get together anymore unless they are practically forced to do so. We're the ones that have to initiate and plan everything. It's exhausting and frankly, makes us feel as if they really don't want to see us, spend time with the kids, etc. If that's the case, then just tell us!
Please don't take it (or us) for granted that we are going to be in Rhode Island forever. There may come a time when we'll just be gone, and it will be too late.
OK...I'm done. I've said what I needed to say. Now it's time to make the pie. :)
Labels: Random Musings
posted by Marni @ 9:44 AM
2 Comments:
At November 26, 2008 11:21 AM ,
shelly said...
You could have come to our house! :) I fact, if you would just move here we could celebrate every holiday together! Shawn's family is nuts that way too, I can relate and sympathize and empathize and all that crap. Sorry that it is always that way.... Just remember though, I love you more than my luggage! :)
At November 26, 2008 3:38 PM ,
Rach (Mommy Learns to Blog) said...
Sorry for all the frustration . . . I have been there though not in quite the same ways. When you're used to a tightly knit family and you're reaching out to others out of genuine care from deep in your heart, it's really frustrating to get that kind of response. I hope you end up doing what's just right for YOUR family of 4, for they are what matters the most! Happy Thankgsiving - I am thankful for wonderful friends like you!
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